Becoming a Sponsor
Usually the question of becoming a sponsor comes up in two ways: our own sponsor indicates that it is time, or someone asks us to sponsor them.
There are no specific qualifications for sponsorship in OA. Although some members insist sponsors should have completed the first three steps, or must have completed their step four inventory, there are no such official requirements. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their own experience.
Sponsors work one-on-one with another compulsive eater sharing what works for them, walking together with their sponsees. They use and share OA Tools and slogans; study, work and apply the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions; and offer support when it’s needed. This connection — to a Higher Power, to spiritual Principles and practices, and to other recovering OA members — is crucial to recovery.
If you are considering sponsorship, it is strongly recommended (although not required) that you:
- have a sponsor yourself
- discuss with your sponsor the possibility of your sponsoring someone
- read through the OA literature mentioned here
- discuss with your sponsor specifically any request for sponsorship, including your expectations, before saying yes
Not Sure Yet?
The Newcomers’ First Twelve Days process might be a great way to test the waters! When you do this with a newcomer or returning member, you’ll have a chance to experience what it might be like to sponsor someone.
One way to determine whether you are ready to sponsor may be to ask yourself: “Do I have experience, strength, and hope to share?” If you have maintained any length of abstinence and are working the Twelve Steps to the best of your ability, then you have something to share.
What You Might Do as a Sponsor
Your service as a sponsor may include:
– Welcome your sponsee’s daily calls and emails
– Listen to your sponsee’s food plan and program work daily
– Gently reflect on OA Tools and spiritual Principles with your sponsee
– Share honestly and willingly about your experience, learning, stumbles, growth, and gratitude in recovery
– Highlight areas of growth you notice in your sponsee’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual recovery
– Encourage your sponsee to be open and willing with you and seek assistance from other OA members and trustworthy professionals as needed
– Listen for yellow and red flags in your sponsee’s recovery and talk about these openly, honestly, and willingly
– Let go and let God when you can’t be helpful to a sponsee
– Celebrate recovery
– Help your sponsee work through the Twelve Steps
– Honor your sponsee’s anonymity if that is what they request
Resources
Being a sponsor is serious work. To support sponsors, Overeaters Anonymous produces a sponsorship packet of inspiring and useful information for sponsors including:
- Tools of Recovery pamphlet $.45
- A Guide for Sponsors pamphlet $.75
- Sponsoring Through the Twelve Steps pamphlet $.75
- Sponsorship Kit 3.50 includes: The Tools of Recovery #160, A Guide for Sponsors #200, Sponsoring Through the Twelve Steps #220 Excerpts from Lifeline magazine featuring stories about sponsorship, Strong Abstinence Checklist and Writing Exercise pocket card #415, Twelve Stepping a Problem pocket card #420, Abstinence Literature Resource Guide
You can also check out “Sponsorship Success”, a nine-part podcast series hosted on oa.org. Members from various regions share their experience, strength, and hope with using the Tool of sponsorship.
And Remember This…
A sponsor isn’t responsible for the failures or the successes of a sponsee. You can’t get someone abstinent if they don’t want to be abstinent, and you can’t prevent them from getting abstinent if they want to be abstinent. Don’t expect success; and don’t fear failure. It’s not up to you. The acceptance and practice of the OA recovery program rests entirely with the individual.
We do Twelfth Step work to give what we have, so we can keep what we have been given. We’re not sponsoring or telling our story to newcomers to get them abstinent, nor to keep them in the program. We sponsor to keep what we have. This is the right motive. This motive will keep our pride out of the way and prevent many heartaches and disappointments when some of our sponsees choose not to accept the gift of the program.
Most sponsors say that, in sponsoring, they receive far more than they give. May it be so for you!
